It’s no secret that children who have parents who not only take an interest in their activities, but help guide good choices through boundaries and consequences, tend to make healthy decisions throughout their lives. Most parents take an active role in their children’s school career and financial habits. While many discuss dating and relationships (in fact, more than they talk about drugs and alcohol), many leave out conversations about unhealthy relationships and dating abuse. Parental involvement in this area provides a protective barrier to safeguard children from engaging in risky relationships.
What are steps you can take as a parent to help your children?
- Talk early, openly, and regularly with your child about what a healthy relationship looks like and that any kind of violence (verbal, physical, or sexual) should never be tolerated in a relationship, not even once. These conversations can be done as they grow up in an age appropriate manner.
- Teach your child about healthy boundaries for a teenage relationship. These are often taught by your own rules and limits. For instance, teenage relationships should not be prioritized over family and school.
- If your child struggles with anger or attachment, have them wait to date but make sure keep up the conversations so they understand why you’ve set that limit.
- Once your child starts a relationship, insist on meeting his/her significant other.
- Look for changes in your teen’s mood, appearance, or activities; which could be an indication that something is wrong or abuse is happening. This could be things, such as a drop in grades, unexplained bruises, or a change in friends or peer group.
- Know and recognize the signs of abuse. Don’t be afraid to acknowledge that dating abuse can and does happen.
- Make sure your relationship models the kind of relationship you want your child to have.
- Put yourself in their shoes. Remember what it was like to be ‘young and in love.’ The parental role exists precisely for times like this – when our children are thinking with their hearts and not necessarily their heads. Our kids need our wisdom in these moments…even if they may not WANT it.
If life with your teenagers is anything like mine, quality conversations can be a challenge. Between school, sports, jobs, and friends it can feel as though your words of wisdom are swept up and scattered through the whirlwind that is the adolescent way of life. But rest assured that in those quiet moments, when the dust settles, your words are there, lingering in their minds and hearts. They hear you, keep talking.
Join us next week as we talk more about the warning signs of dating abuse. Have a safe week!
